She Thinks Out Loud . . .

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Cara Tan Reina

I remember you always used to call me by that name.
Except you pronounced it more like “Cara Nan Reina” because it sounded cuter. I was your little carananreina….
I’m still here tho, dad. Ever since we have had our differences & our arguments about Who’s God or Why I should date other guys, our father-daughter relationship has torn apart. Why can’t you just make everything easier for everyone & just be happy for me??? Why can’t you be supportive?? It’s easy! You just do it! Do what you promised you would always do. You said you would “Be there for me, no matter what.”

That’s not true. But maybe it’s hard for the both of us. You think it would be so easy for me to leave him. I think it would be so easy for you to just be there for me.

I’m always willing to COMPROMISE with you as well. So we can both have a solution on both ends. But you don’t even want THAT!………you just want everything your way. It’s either your way or the highway. & you talk about how you have failed as a father. How your daughter isn’t here anymore. Like I already have told you a million times…….I’M RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. You fail to see me.

Well screw it. The highway seems like a more peaceful road anyway. At least I won’t be lied to anymore. Seeing as you “Wanna be there” for me for “whatever” I need, “You’re there for me, right?”

Stop dreaming dad. Stop lying to yourself dad. Be my DAD.

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We’re Here For You “No Matter What”…

That phrase is a whole bunch of bullshit.

It only goes so far until it reaches a limitation or disagreement.
So no, don’t ever tell me that unless you truly mean NO MATTER WHAT. As in no matter what happens. I hate how family throws that phrase around just because it sounds nice. I’m truly heartbroken……again….
Only this time, I’m okay. Because I now realize that this is never gonna change. Their rules & limitations to “we’re here no matter what”, those rules are never gonna change. If I don’t follow them, they won’t be there for me. I know I want to say I DON’T CARE because of how awful that is, but I do care….x/

I just wish they cared enough to support me & be there as a TRUE FAMILY.

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